Followed By Mercy

The Loved Love: Why "Regular People" Are God's Greatest Tool

• W. Austin Gardner

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 35:15

Send us Fan Mail

How do you break a cycle of trauma that has claimed the lives and freedom of so many your age? Pastor Ricky Howard joins Austin Gardner to discuss the "survivor's guilt" and the overwhelming mercy that pulled him out of a life of instability.

Ricky shares how he lost his entire freshman year of high school because he lacked the family structure to stay afloat. But in the midst of that "lost year," God was using "regular people"—not war heroes or wealthy businessmen, but simple church volunteers—to show him a different path.

In this episode, Austin and Ricky discuss:

  • The danger of letting "current circumstances" define your future.
  • Why the "Loved Love": How our own healing allows us to reach the next generation.
  • The pursuit of God: How mercy chases us even when we aren’t looking for it.

Closing Thought: "The moment we stop defining ourselves on ourselves and start looking to Him... that’s when we truly find out who we are."

Links Mentioned:

Thanks for listening. Find us on YouTube, Substack, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

Austin Gardner

I am so happy to be back with Pastor Ricky Howard from the Solid Rock Baptist Church out in St. George, beautiful Utah. I enjoyed it. Brother Howard is a tremendous blessing and a great friend. And so, brother, just say hello to the listeners.

Rickey Howard

Hello, and thank you for coming by. And uh I want to say again, thank you to Brother Gardner for allowing me to come on here and for having this conversation with me. And it's always good to talk to him. It's always good to talk to a friend, especially one you know that cares.

Austin Gardner

Well, I do care, and I love you, and I love every one of you listen, because you know what? Our Lord loves you. You are his beloved. If you're a born-again believer, you're his beloved. If you're not saved, he loves you already. For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son. So I already know he loves you. He nobody ever loves God first. God always loves first. We love him because he first loved us. And what I love about Ricky Howard's story is he has seen the mercy of the Lord.

Rickey Howard

Yes.

Planting A Church In St George

Austin Gardner

And so he has just uh by the way, when I say that, you know every believer has seen the mercy of the Lord. That's right. Frankly, every lost person has seen the mercy of the Lord, or you'd be dead already, and you'd have no more chances. So God loves you, and this is called followed by mercy because surely goodness and mercy do follow us all the days of our life. Now, I I had the privilege of spending some time out in Brother Howard's home, and what a time to see how God is working and all that. We talked about that last time, just a little brief review. Why don't you just kind of bring them up? I know we talked a week ago, but people don't always watch every episode, and so kind of bring them up to speed about where you are and what you're doing, brother.

Early Childhood And Family Upheaval

Rickey Howard

So we are uh we are church planners here in St. George, Utah. We've been here, we just celebrated back in January, celebrated three years with the church. This summer will be our four-year anniversary of living here. And uh we we've been here for, like I said, four years. And during the heat, our first our first time moving in was right in the middle of the summer. We moved in. This is amazing. I knew what the heat was like out here. It wasn't a surprise to me, but the day we moved in was 115 degrees. And uh Lord's probably gonna tell me I'm gonna be able to do that. I don't think I could have took it. Yeah, my wife's probably gonna tell me I'm not remembering that right, but I remember it right because I was the first one here. So my father and I, my father-in-law and I, we uh we drove in through the night while they stayed at in Gallup, New Mexico, and we moved in, woke up the next morning, and it was already 100 degrees by the time we got up. We did sleep in a little bit. We got up about 10 o'clock, but uh we we got up and we didn't do much. We kind of fiddled around waiting on everybody to get there, but it was 115 degrees, 110, 115, somewhere in there. And so, and that was that was what we moved into. But we uh we've been here, we've seen, we've seen God move in wonderful ways, we've seen families fixed, not by our power, not by our abilities, but by by the grace of God. We've seen families come back together, we've seen marriages fixed, we've seen people get back on track with their walk with the Lord, we've seen a number of people saved, and uh, we can only thank God for it. There was a there was a preacher in Alabama years ago, and uh I can't remember his exact slogan, but I want to say it was only God. And I can remember listening to his podcast years ago when I was I was sitting on a tractor, I'd sit, I was sitting on excavator and digging ditches, and I'd listen to his preaching podcast, you know, as much as I could. And I can remember every week he would say, Only God. That's what that's what we want to build our church off of. Only God, not of us, but only God. That's kind of I've tried to bring that here as well. That everything we do, it ain't about what we do, it ain't about how great we are, it's only God. And I I want to ask that he would do something great here, greater than I could ever imagine. And so, and we've already seen it. Um in this new this new little unit we're in is something greater than I could have imagined. We're still in the storefront. It's beautiful, it's still still a blessing. Well, it's beautiful.

Austin Gardner

Well, I tell you what, we went over this before, but brother, would you kind of explain your early life before the age of 10, where you lived and what life was like? Because what we're wanting to do is help people who think, man, you don't understand how bad I've had it. Well, I don't mean to be rude when I say this, but you probably you could taught me, but you I it'd be hard to taught Brother Ricky Howard and where he lived and what he had. And so, brother, would you just kind of tell them where you where God worked in your life and how it started out?

Custody Battles And State Homes

A Father In Prison And Losing Him

Rickey Howard

Well, and and you know, I I say this uh I say this respectfully for for what we're what we're doing. I look back at it and uh a lot of times, you know, I think about I think about childhood, I think about growing up, I think about everything we went through. And and yeah, I, you know, it was a there was a lot there was a lot of rough times. It wasn't uh what what's the word I'm looking for? It wasn't desirable, right? But you know, in those times you you have two choices. Uh you can you can sit and dwell on it or you can make the best of it. I feel like for for the most part, there was a certain time in life, maybe got into the teenage years or whatever, we just made the best of it. Um, you know, we did what we could to stay gone as much as possible. But um I I I don't I hope you don't mind me saying this. I don't know. I I I don't I don't I don't want to do this to sound like I'm boo-hooing. Does that make sense? I I'm not I'm not lamenting on what what happened. I'm not as meet you and I talked about, I'm not sitting here making myself a victim and talking about how how I was victimized throughout life and woe is me. Not what that's not what this is about. But um going back, uh there's so much I could talk about, so much we could uh discuss, but uh you know, go back to before, let's say before 10 years old, before my dad died when I was 10, you know, it was uh I was you know I was born in 1983. I was born in Cardasville, Georgia. We lived in Adairsville, right there off Highway 41. Uh we we lived, uh for anybody that knows the area, especially back then back back in those times on Highway 41, you come into town, there was uh McIntyre's grocery, and then there was just to the just to the north of McIntyre Grocery, which is now a Derville supermarket or was a Derrizzle Supermarket, whatever you want to call it, you had McIntyre Grocery, and then my my granddaddy had a they called it a station. It wouldn't there wasn't any gas pumps there, but there was a a station and then our single wide trailer. And uh that's where that's where I first come home to and uh spent spent our early years there. And you know, I don't say this in any kind of prideful way, but I could write a book on just what I can remember in the four years of being there, and you could think, well, who can remember that? And I I honestly I there's a lot of memories I have even in the those early years right there, whether it be just right there in that at that station or at my aunt's house downtown, uh, you know, later when we were there going to my aunt's house, things like that. There's just so much that that I can remember. I would say probably the painful parts of it are um, you know, it was you it was mainly my grandparents who were taking care of us. My grandparents and my aunt who lived there in town, they were the ones caring for us. I don't I don't have many memories of my mom, really no memories of my dad during that time. What memories I do have of my mom, you know, are uh probably not the most favorable, but I do, you know, most of them are my grandparents, you know, taking care of us and being there with us. Now, at some point through there, and I know we didn't talk about this on the on the last one, but sometime in there, I think I was about four years old, my dad's parents came to, and I say take us, take us to the zoo is what the whole thing was. And uh in taking us to the zoo, we never went to the zoo. They picked us up, they packed us a bag, and they were supposed to take us to the zoo and an overnight stay in Atlanta or something like that. And we ended up somewhere else. I don't remember where we uh I don't know if it was immediately the Mould Tree or what, but uh we ended up in South Georgia with them, and then over the next few years, all I can really remember is custody battle after custody battle for about three years, three or four years there was uh just before I turned nine, we came back to Adairsville to live with my grandparents there and and my mom and stepdad. All that, you know, through that time before I was ten, uh living with my grandparents in South Georgia. I talked about this a little bit, but during that time I I was fed a hatred for my mom. And and I did, uh I'm not I'm gonna be honest with you, I spent a lot of my a lot of my teen years up till, you know, later on, uh, really with some uh resentment for my grandmother down there. Even to the fact that I really don't remember much about her because, you know, she was uh she was hateful toward my family and in my mom's side of the family and everything. And uh she tried to create resentment in my head and our you know, in our heads for my mom's side of the family. I don't know. But but all that being said, you know, after all that time, you know, every custody battle would end in or wouldn't end, but every custody battle would lead to a different living situation. And during during the trials, during the court dates, you know, we'd have to go stay in these group homes or I don't know what they're called, foster homes, state-run homes. And uh those were those were horrible times, those were horrible nights. Probably if you want to talk about something that'll shape as you grow up, something that kind of shapes uh compassion for people who are in those long term, that really did. Uh, because I can remember the days spending those. We were the only boys in the home that they would always send us to. It was all teenage girls, and then me and my brother when we'd go go to those, but man, that was a mean home. The lady who run that place was a mean woman. I I can remember some things, and she wouldn't let me and my brother sleep in the same bed, and my brother would cry and I'd wait till she, you know, turn the lights out, and I'd go and I'd lay with him until he got into bed. But I knew she'd get on to us if I if I slept down there, so I'd stay awake till he was asleep, and then I'd sneak to my bed and go to sleep and things like that. But, you know, it just all those different things. But I I'll say, you know, I feel like it it's it's one of those I'm in one of those times this morning where I'm staying on topic is, you know, I'm I'm kind of scattered on my on my thoughts on it. But yeah, leading up to 10 years old, at 10 years old, I was probably I was probably eight when I found out my dad had cancer. He had a kidney removed. He was in prison at the time. And uh I don't know everything that went on. I know what I was told, I know all that. But my big my biggest memory of my dad, or really the only standing memories of my dad, are going down to for some reason Augusta's in my mind. I don't know where the prison was, but I know we'd get off uh we'd get off the interstate and we'd take this, we would take a road, I guess it was I took toward Augusta, and there's a prison over somewhere we'd go to. It took forever to get to when I was little. And uh we'd go in there and uh, you know, we'd sit at a round table and you know uh that was about the only time he could have a I I don't know, he he just act like it was such a big deal to have a Coke and a pack of chips or a candy bar, and and so we'd go and, you know, we'd we'd all have a a Coke and candy bar, we'd draw pictures and all this stuff. And that's that's all I really knew of him until uh they let him out of prison because he some family members sat and wrote letters and said, you know, you should let him out so he could spend the last few months with his kids and all this. And the sad part about it is, you know, we we had these high hopes and high dreams that, man, he's gonna get out, he's gonna be dad of the year and all this stuff. I barely saw him. I I think the probably the most time I spent with him was one overnight trip we took uh to to Duluth, Georgia, to uh hang wallpaper at a new ATT building. I was ten years old, or well, I was nine years old, and I went, he went to help his brother wallpaper the new ATT building in Duluth, and uh we were over there and uh we stayed over we stayed overnight, did two days worth of work, and then we came back to Aderezville the next night and got caught in a uh in a tornado. We pulled over, a tornado come through, and we pulled over at a gas station. And uh that's that's the biggest memory I have of him. Probably the uh he was at I and I can remember he was at one of my one of my baseball games when I was that summer that he died. He was at a baseball game. Only baseball game I can remember him being at. And I was so nervous him being there that every time I went on the field I forgot my hat. And uh I'd have to I'd get I'd get to second base running out to the outfield, and I'd have to turn around and go get my hat because I was so nervous every time. But I did hit two triples that game. I'll never forget that. But it was uh, you know, very few memories. He he did pass away two weeks after I turned 10, he passed away. And uh all my all my hopes and dreams of having this, you know, picture perfect dad, you know, sitcom dad, went out the door because I knew my stepdaddy he'd never be it. You know, I never I never I just knew he would never amount to that and never live up to it. So even though we I tried to have a relationship with him, it just I don't know. Um it's just one of those things.

Austin Gardner

But that's uh So you didn't know your mother hardly at all either.

Pastors Who Gave Safe Refuge

Rickey Howard

Well I knew I knew her what when I when I came back to Adairsville at eight years old, she she lived there on property, I'd say. You know, my dad bought my granddaddy bought the house, uh, it had a shop, he remodeled it and made a house out there because the only way we could come back to live there is if we were coming to live with her. She had she had to she had to be there. Uh the it could be I don't know the stipulations. I was too young to really know, but um it we couldn't they wouldn't give custody to my grandparents. And uh because of my granddaddy's history as a moonshiner and things like that, and my grandmother's health they wouldn't give them full custody. And so my my mom had to be there. So he built a house. So from eight years old till I moved out of the house, she was there. I knew her. We just didn't have we didn't have a close relationship at all.

Austin Gardner

Well, I just finished writing uh some articles about how we don't really remember our past, it's stories we tell ourselves because every time we tell it, we kind of think of something else or change something else or make ourselves a hero or make ourselves a victim. But one of the things that I would say you've done, and and I just want you to help our listeners to see this, you had a rough upbringing, but you have turned it to the story of the glory of God. You have turned it to how God has worked in your life and how God has shown mercy because you've told me your story. That's why I'm asking you to tell it to these people. So kind of give us a shift. How did you come out of all that mess and God change the story?

A Van Ride To Church

Fear Of Judgment And Finding Salvation

God’s Call And Closing Encouragement

Rickey Howard

Well, I, you know, I have to leave a lot of me behind and a lot of things out to really tell that story. But, you know, as I believe we may have already talked about this. I'm not sure. I know you and I talked about it. But, you know, living there, we lived on the corner of Dogwood Circle and Franklin Street. And where where our road, Dogwood Circle, where it met Franklin Street, is where Hotel Street ends. I I know I'm I'm giving this pinpoint location, but right there on that corner was the first Christian church of Adrizzle. And there, they're live, you know, right there on the property, the parsonage there was Phil and Winnie McPherson, the pastor and his wife, and wonderful, wonderful people who really it would take my brother and I, they they took us in. When things would go awry at the house, fights would break out, police would show up, things like that. He was the first one to come down and just grab us kids by the hand, take us down to the over to the church, to the church fellowship hall. Praise the Lord. Fix us a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and you know, I don't even know what the game is. Something with some pool balls, you throw down a you throw down a long thing or set up the ping pong table or even sit there and give us coloring books and stuff and and just sit there and talk to us. And we we'd go, you know, he'd go play basketball with us, play baseball with us. He was he was that he was that kind of in between, you know. I had my granddad who man, I had a I had a morning routine with my granddaddy for so long. Me and my granddaddy we'd we'd get up during the summer, we'd get up, we'd go eat breakfast, we'd we'd go out, or even before I started school, like when I before going down to South Georgia, we'd get up, we'd go to the truck stop, Patty's truck stop for breakfast. We'd leave Patty's truck stop and we'd go out, we'd go down Hall Station Road. There was this old country store out there by Barnesley Gardens, and these old men would just sit around on rocking chairs and things and sit and talk, and the guy would put me up on this old whiskey barrel looking thing uh from what I remember, or put me on this padded stool, and he'd he'd give me some, you know, give me a bottle of Coke, you know, one of those glass bottle cokes, and I always thought it was so cool popping the top off. And we'd we'd stay there for a few hours, we'd go to the barbershop some days and uh s you know, sit at the barbershop, nobody'd ever get their hair cut, just sit there. And uh some days we'd go and visit his sister uh who lived behind that country store, and you know, we'd go over there and I scared me to death. She had so many birds, scared me to death, I wouldn't get out of the truck. And then after that we'd we'd go out to the moonshine still, and uh, you know, we so I had my granddaddy who would, you know, he he was that. Um but Phil McPherson was kind of that stereotypical man that uh that a guy needs in his life, if that makes sense. And so he would come out and he'd play ball with us, he'd play catch with us, and he was just he was an old man and still had still had a lot of juice left in him, I guess. And I can remember going up there and talking talking with him, and he would sit there and he'd be working on the truck and we'd look, hand me that right there and tell me what it is and things like my granddaddy could my granddaddy was a great mechanic. Moonshiner gotta be a good mechanic, right? Because you gotta you gotta know how to soup your trick cars up, you gotta know how to get your weight distribution, all that. My granddaddy and my stepdaddy great mechanics, never taught me a thing on how to work on a car because that was all business. So, you know, Phil, Mr. McPherson, he he taught me a a little bit about tools and things like that, but I would say the the turning point in my life, I would have to say there's multiple. There were those early years between like 12 and 15 where just different people, I would say between 10 and 15, really, because uh between the guy at Phil who used to pick us up at Philadelphia Baptist Church used to pick us up on the bus, Phil McPherson, who really when I first moved into the house, you know, came back to a Derez with eight, started going to church up there, Sunday school, everything. Like he he would walk me to Sunday school every morning. I thought that was so special. All these people, they got their moms and dads bringing them to Sunday school, the preacher's bringing me. You know what I mean? The preacher's bringing me to Sunday school. He's walking me to Sunday school. And then then it got to be where the the preacher's son, I can remember he w he started walking me in. His wife was our Sunday school teacher for years. You know, there were there were so many things about about that that that really kind of started shaping me. But I think it was honestly, I think what really set me in and kind of you know made me think about the rest of my life was the young couple who picked us up and took us to church to to help them remodel the church. And this little non-denominational church there in Daresville, they started up, I don't probably in 98, somewhere in there. 98, I guess, is when that was. And they uh probably sooner than that, probably about 97 96, 97. Well, if I'm I can't really, you know, my my mind, I I'm thinking I was probably yeah, I was probably about fourteen, so probably ninety seven. Um I if I'm doing my math right. Uh they they started that church. We were hanging out at the Pete's place downtown in arcade or whatever, and probably skating around, you know, on the sidewalks or whatever. And they pull up and they're like, hey, y'all want to come help us work on this church, get this church ready? And you know, we we're like, you feed us? And they're like, sure will. And we're like, yeah. So we we jump in this van with, you know, this 20-year-old couple, you know, these days people would be like, How dare you? But, you know, we we were a bunch of teenagers. We we had this idea that, I mean, there was there were five of us who stayed down, you know, we were, we were, we were the ones that, you know, we didn't really do a lot of bad stuff, but most parents wouldn't let the kids hang out with us. You know, I guess it was just the image we we put out. But those that couple, they pulled up and we were the ones they wanted to talk to and we knew, well, ain't nobody gonna try no funny business. There's five of us. We'll we'll whoop them, you know? And so we wasn't scared of anything. But we went over there, we helped them, we helped them paint, helped them set up chairs, helped them set up the drum kit. I thought that was the coolest thing ever set up the the speakers and the drum kit and all that and I got to play on the drums and the guitars and all that. And I just remember the Saturday we finished up and uh they dropped us off at the house and dropped us off at the house with a large pizza. And we were like, we thought we made it, you know? And uh we get out at the house and they're like, all right, we'll see y'all in the morning 10 o'clock. And we're like, mm-mm. You know, I'm I'm thinking, no, I'm good. And they're like, no man, you you helped us, you helped us get this church ready. You got to come. You got to come see what it's about. And so that really talked us into into going. And so we we started going to church there and a couple of about a year or so later that's when uh the gospel became real to me. I I don't know uh if if that if this is on the other video but you know during those times of going to church and everything I thought you know I I joked around about it while we were out raising support and I'd give my testimony I I joked around about it but it's serious. I didn't go to church for any other reason but I just wanted to get around normal people. I just wanted to get around people who had it together. It took me it took me till my probably in my twenties well really my late teen years when I when I later on we can talk about that if we need to but when I realized man even church people ain't got it together but you know uh but I I really just wanted to get around normal people uh and that that was the reason I went to church and I thought you know the gospel sounds great god God is a a great God's great Jesus great all this stuff is great but it if if God loved me then why why am I here in this situation in this I love my grandmother I love my granddaddy I I I even I even love my mom I love my brothers but why does it have to be if God loved me why does it have to be like this like you know a lot of a lot of the preaching is you you talk about our father our father I ain't even got one what are you talking about you know what I mean and so it that that's where it took a while I was 15 years old and and I I guess it was just the the simple preaching made me that had me understand God's love. But I I'll be honest with you I I don't know I can't really take you back and tell you everything that worked in my heart during that year but I do know that summer summer of 99 before I ever turned 16 I do know that Y2K all that stuff going on the Kirk Cameron what is it left behind movie come out boy I was scared. I was scared to death and uh I thought man what if the world does end on January 1st what if what if this? What if that? And so I was really under conviction I can remember late night sitting up in my room just like what what what if what if what if and uh I'd go and I'd get my grandmother's Bible and I'd look at it and I don't even know what I'm looking at. Like I don't even know where do you find this? Where where is this stuff at? I hear it preached and I follow along in the preaching but I I just don't know I can't put this all together but it was amazing at 15 years old you know walking to church one Sunday evening and just understanding man something's got to change. And it it's amazing how how God works. The the preacher that night preached on the the second you know talk about God calling the church out like well if God calls the church out are you going? And I can remember that question being asked and I was c I had to get up. I had to go I had to go seek the truth that night and uh that's the night that God saved me. Now that was probably that was probably the night that that night was probably about the time God started working in my heart because really for the next couple of years I was serious. I tried the I tried the Christian I wanted to do everything I could to get as close to God as I could went and got a Bible. I left public school went you know I I spent my first semester of freshman year in the Christian school actually the second semester of my senior or my freshman year in uh the Christian school it was a mistake you know I wasn't I wasn't mature enough for that because I didn't have if you're going to do a private school you know or you know Christian school something like that you you really need a family structure behind you to help you do it. I didn't have that and so I lost a whole year I lost my whole freshman year well half of my freshman year because of that and I'm I'm not mad at them for allowing me to come over or even presenting that to me but I'm telling you it it's funny it's it's really I don't I don't say this a lot I don't tell a lot of people this but I knew I knew then that God had something for me to do. I just didn't know what I I was never going to get up and speak in front of anybody. I was never gonna get up and sing in front of anybody. I was never gonna get up and preach that that was never it but God had something for me to do. That was my mindset then and I I can remember talking to that preacher at the time and saying I I want to be part of the ministry but I don't want to do that. I don't want to do what you do. That's hard. I mean I I'll do anything else but that's hard.

Austin Gardner

I ain't doing that but here we are well you know I think that has been a most wonderful story and I want to stop now and we'll be right back with you tomorrow with more of the Ricky Howard story. But as you can see maybe this field man didn't know what he was doing. You know he was just loving some kids that needed loving. And maybe what you're doing wherever it is a Sunday school class people need to know the love of God and we are the loved of God so the loved love and that's what seems to have touched Ricky Howard. So brother we'll start another podcast for the tomorrow but what would you say is the last thing to encourage people because I'm hearing that just regular people is what God used for you.

Don’t Let Circumstances Define You

Rickey Howard

Oh yeah just just regular people uh you know and and it's amazing for me uh you know it wouldn't the it wasn't the hardworking neighbor down the road who you know the the hardworking war veteran down the road who taught me that you know life can life can get hard but life can always be better uh and and taught me this business sense or anything like that. It wasn't that it wasn't even it wasn't even the you know the other type of person. For some reason for me this is I I praise the Lord for it for some reason for me it was always it was it was the the bus captain at Philadelphia Baptist Church. It was Phil McPherson and his wife who you know the pastor at the Christian church it was the the non-denominational pastor and his wife who would you know take us into their home over the weekend so that we could eat and be ready for church and wouldn't have to go through the commotion on Saturday nights from people drinking and partying and know that we could be in church. It was those people who had an influence on me and why did I seek it out? I don't know why did it find me? Because of God's mercy and God's grace. That's why can I tell this real quick? Yes sir I I think about this and we have a we have a young girl that we pick up on our church van here whenever we can she uh she just got saved a week ago yesterday so we we had April took her home my wife took her home after Wednesday night service and in the in the parking lot of their apartment complex letter to the Lord that this is it this is a young girl who is walking who is living a similar path to what I did. And I've watched my wife weep over this little girl beg to go pick this little girl up do anything she can to get this little girl around us in in in the church. And so the fact that this little girl is seeing the troubles that I've seen you know a lot of the similar things that she she's dealt with this little girl's been in homeless shelters, you know home to home, all these different things over the past three years and still the happiest little girl when we see her. Loves to come into the church. She is probably one of the biggest reasons we do the Wednesday night ministry we do here for the kids. And uh I say that because it I know it's not just me. I I know it I know it never was just me. I mean I I had brothers who were going through the same thing but I also I have brothers who are not in the same place I'm at today and I have friends who are going through similar things. Some are dead some are in prison you know and you know I've I tell I tell my boys all the time I got more dead friends than I should have at 42 years old. And that and that's I got more incarcerated old friends than I should have at 42 years old. And so you gotta watch who you're who you're with and what you do but you can't help what you come up in and what you come up around. And so that being said you know if I my my my departure from this episode I guess you'd say is this don't don't let don't let current circumstances define you because current circumstances if a current circumstance defines you then you're always going to be locked in to that definition of you and it's not it's not preached this last night uh you know it ain't about us it's about him and the moment we stop defining ourselves on ourselves and start looking to him and find our find our and our defining ourselves in him that's when we truly find out who we are and what we can be that is a wonderful way to end this I want you to know your position your hurt your being abandoned that's not you it's not your identity and you will find your identity in your Father your heavenly father who loves you and so Ricky Howard's success today is not something he does because we need to always remember it is God who loved us first.

Austin Gardner

It is God who sought us out it is God that saved us and to him goes all the glory and all the praise. Well you need to be back with us tomorrow because we're coming back with more followed by mercy. That's the difference followed by mercy because surely goodness and mercy that follow us all the days of our life pursues us and chases us like it did Ricky Howard. Thanks for being with us

Head Shot

Austin Gardner

Host